The hundred year old man, Jonas Jonasson

Its been long scene I last wrote and I felt like sharing something. so here is a bit about a book I just read; not exactly a review, just my opinion.

( If this post gets 3 likes, I will write another similar post. ) 

The Hundred year old man by Jonas Jonasson was published in 2012 but I only had the opportunity to read it in 2017. I wonder if the author is still alive, I could google it, but some things are more fun if they are left unknown.

As the title suggests the book is about a 100 year old mans life story. Its not as boring as it sounds and surprisingly quite a fun read. The book unfolds in two parts, describing the events before and after Allan Karlsson’s 100th birthday. In his youth Allan came across a lot of adventures and dangerous events , neither of which he was searching for. After his 100th, not caring at the least if he survives the next minute, he lives each hour to the fullest. The twists in the world events,mentioned in this book, might seem boring to some and amusing to others; for me they were parts that would have made my history class a lot more interesting.

What stood-out for me the most, was the character of Allan Karlsson. He was always sure of himself, a simple minded man not ever complicating his life more than needed. A quality that I am trying to develop. He lived by 1 moto ‘Things are what they are, and whatever will be will be’.

That is pretty much it, if you are looking to read something different, try this one, its… fascinating

( If you have read the book please do let me know what you think. )

P.S. I got inspired to write today by another book, its called “I Dare You!”

An Old Note…

Today I felt an urge to write about something but couldn’t seem to find inspiration, so i put on some good music, danced around for a while and decided that today just wasn’t the day. But before I gave up all hope I opened the drawer to my side table took out my scrap book to go through my previous scribbles and see if a blank page could ignite my creativity…..that’s when I found the note.

I couldn’t believe my eyes…my brain rejected the possibility of the existence of such a letter written by me…but turns out that on 13/2/2016 I was SO bummed out by life that I wrote a suicide note!!

Just realized that this was a day before valentines….and this was not a desperation act by a single lady, I was engaged then and am still. SO FUCK!! I was really messed up that day.

I am not going to share what I wrote cause sometimes my loved ones read this blog…wouldn’t want to hurt them.

Though I want to say to anyone who is, will ever or has already thought about suicide that its a really stupid idea!! killing yourself is not solving any problem its just making life worse for those who actually care about you. And I understand that at a point when you think of killing yourself you are in that state of mind that you think that no one really cares….but NO that’s not true!!! There are people who love you and even if there aren’t DON’T JUST GIVE UP…fight for the life you have on earth mostly because we don’t know what comes after…for all you know its something worse. No matter how bad it is, give your brain a workout and count your blessings.

P.S. Honestly I don’t even remember what was so bad that I thought of suicide, thank God I didn’t do anything foolish then.

A thought

“Its okay to think about things just don’t let them become you” said by a wise ass (cause she is wise and has one hell of an ass 😉 )

One night I was talking to wise ass (lets just call her that) about my opinion of myself, which by the way is very negative. And no! I was not fishing for complements (which some might understand and others will never), she is just one of those people in my life who I can blabber anything to and she’ll help me figure it out. Not just that…she also knows exactly what to say and when to say it; according to me very few humans have that quality.

OKAY! I admire  her too much, so I’m gonna need to write a separate post expressing that love.

Coming back to what she said… what she made me realize is that when we are trying to figure ourselves out, we judge ourselves and we put ourselves in a certain light . What we  (or I) need to realize at this point is that our judgement might be wrong…. I’m not sure if I am making any sense right now……over explanation time:

Lets suppose that I think of myself as a materialistic person, obviously I have come to this conclusion after I took note of my behavior in certain situations BUT what I did not take in account is ‘has someone other than myself ever seen me in that light?’ or even that the way  I understand the meaning of being materialistic might be different from how others see it. So there are chances that I could be wrong about myself but if I keep calling myself materialist….I might just become it (not that there is anything wrong in being materialistic) or if I say it out loud, then even if others don’t want to they will judge me as such.

Conclusion being if I keep thinking negative about myself I will become it…..I realize that this sounds simple to understand, but I only figured this out after talking to wise ass.

All this makes a lot of sense in my head… but I’m weird. Let me know if you understand why I wrote this.

P.S. Surround yourself with wise asses, they make this world a better place.

Blue Valentine (2010)

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I watched a movie today and felt like sharing my thoughts on it, attempted to write a review. So read this and let me know what you think.

note to self: if 2 people like this sort-of review thing, then I’ll write another. 

My thoughts on the movie ‘Blue Valentine’…

This film is about two beautiful people falling in love (obviously) but where it gets interesting is that as the movie shows us how this love story began it also shows how it comes to an end. Throughout there are 2 stories being portrayed; one of how the two meet (past) and the other, approximately 5 years in the future showing how the two have disconnected.

The concept of the movie was to show a couple falling in and out of love which according to me was very clear, though the problem lies in the story. What I saw wasn’t two people falling in love, it was more about chance/coincidence bringing two individuals together. There was clearly affection and lust between the 2 but that can not be called love. Similarly, I don’t think Dean and Cindy fell out of love, for two reasons, one that they were never in love and the other that what they had was a fallout which was very much fixable.

The one thing that I absolutely hated was that in the movie Cindy had an issue with Dean’s simplistic and minimalist life style (at least that is what i understood), which I don’t believe anyone should be judged on! Especially when their life is not interrupting your way of living. Also if the person has always been like that and you knew about it then why do they suddenly need to change!! (personally this part of the movie really bothered me)

Another issue that I had with the story was that it was portrayed (or at least I saw it that way) in such a way that Dean was always seen as being on the right where as Cindy was wrong, clearly this is not what they were trying to show or it shouldn’t be shown considering the concept they were trying to follow had nothing to do with one being right or wrong.

So my final word is, its a good movie if you want to enjoy the acting though it could have had a much better story.

P.S. If you are looking for a better romantic/drama I would suggest ‘Love and other drugs’.

Poem…ish

I’m just a girl

Dealing with the world

Life’s been an ease

Oh please!! Everyone has their own problems and mysteries

One step at a time…Masking my face with a smile

Living in a world that’s just mine

Hiding in my head

The safest place they said

Being as unique as a pearl

I’m just a girl 🙂

__the end__

I have no idea when I wrote this but I found it behind an old book and I thought even though it sucks…it should be shared….mostly cause I still feel this way.

It doest really rhyme…but it’s a free world…I can do what I feel like sooo deal with it!

P.S. I write weird things.

Escape.

esc 1

Every now and again I need to escape from the real world not because it’s not a nice place but just because I need something different sometimes, something unreal, and something magic. What helps me get away is TV…binge watching shows for hours and hours and not even having the guilt of wasting my time. Because I don’t think of it as wasting time… for me it’s just time that I have spent in another world or realm; time in another person’s life. At that point and for several moments after I stay in t
his other realm trying to sort out its problems, connecting with its people and being an active and an important person of that world. This makes me happy.

The question is why?

My life is really amazing…I have literally only first world problems and that too only because I create these problems or give enough importance to these circumstances for them to be called problems and so that I can stress over them just to feel like I have something to deal with in life. And if my life is so I don’t understand why I need to escape.

escMaybe because staying here I am becoming a person I don’t want to be. Maybe because I want the time to stop while I’m watching TV so that I don’t grow up. Maybe because reality is too real for me and I need some magic. maybe because i want to feel important and needed. Or maybe because I am just a television addict…it’s probably a little bit of everything.

Escaping gives me a break from the real world.

Let me know, if you guys also like to escape? how do you do it? And why?

P.S. You know how people call TV the idiot box…I don’t agree, I’ve learnt a lot of life lessons from a lot of different shows, it’s made  me smarter and a better person… but this is another ramble for another time.

Prince Charming

prince

For hundreds of years girls all around the world have been falling in love with the same man, the perfect man, Prince Charming. Some might say that they never entertained such an idea but I think every girl no matter how her personality is somewhere deep down waiting for her prince.

I was waiting for my prince charming till the age of 17….and then I thought that there is no such (person) prince who will sweep me off my feet. That’s when the checklist got dumped and any guy became good enough. But still even today, if not openly then somewhere in my heart, I think that he is really out there, he who knows me better than myself…moving on…

I find it hilarious and apt how wiki describes Prince Charming “He is the prince who comes to the rescue of the damsel in distress, and stereotypically, must engage in a quest to liberate her from an evil spell.” Let me tell you a secret…this is exactly what every girl is looking for; actually why just girls, I think everyone is looking for exactly that. A person who will free them of all their troubles and problems [distress], and somehow the existence of this person will make the world a better place…he/she will take all bitterness [evil spell] away from life. “These characters are often handsome and romantic, a foil to the heroine … they can be viewed more as rewards for the heroine rather than characters.”

I forgot the point of this post…I got carried away defining prince charming and completely forgot why I started writing this….but anyway…

Looking at the last part of this definition that says prince charming is more of a reward for the princess rather than an actual saviour; take this definition and think again cause maybe you already found your prince…I know I have. Someone who feels like a god given gift, someone you are grateful to have, and someone you found who fits perfectly in your life. My best friend is my prince and I am hers (hopefully), she knows me better than anyone, she is my partner in crime, she is everything that I look for in a guy…I am so lucky and grateful to have found her. (too cheesy!! but true)

Having this point of view towards prince charming makes me feel better…cause I know that I’ll have my happily ever after with her.

Have you found your prince??

P.S. My mom fits perfectly in this definition but she is my queen soooo she can’t be my prince. 😀

Losing your passion :(

If there is someone who can tell you about this it’s me. As you can see at the top of my website it says “Without Passion Life is NOTHING” a very smart man/woman said this….I don’t know who it is but I bet they have their life together. Passion by definition is “an intense desire or enthusiasm for something.” And for the most part of my life (so far….cause really I’m not that old) I thought everyone had passion about one or more things, I did too I cared immensely about a lot of things most of all my dream. Turns out I proved myself wrong…

If you really think about the meaning of passion surely you will come up with something that you really care about, like maybe your family or that kinder joy collection you have…

Coming back to the point, Me!….I was very passionate till this summer. I had my life figured out, I knew where I was going and I thought I was following my dream….but today I feel like I’m in the middle of a dessert (which I am cause I live in UAE) with nothing around me. I see no light (and I’m scared of the dark) don’t know where to go. There are a few people in this darkness trying to show me direction and I try…every day I try to take a few steps in the direction that has been shown but when I look at the end of that path I can’t see the one thing I’m looking for…happiness. And because of that I stop and start looking again…..basically this is where I am at this point of my life…looking for the light.

To let you all know so you don’t make the same mistake as I did…I was always too focused towards my long term life goals what I missed to see were the hundreds of hurdles in the way…

P.S. Always be thankful and never let go of the people who try to pull you out of your darkness…because one day they are going to succeed.

Walls.

Walls are those barriers that are around you, that stop you from behaving in a certain way or doing certain things. According to me there are 3 types of walls around us; ones those that we create for ourselves (the inner most wall), the one in the middle is what our family and loved ones create and the outer most is the one created by society.

walls

The circle is the world around us with its infinite opportunities and options all open to us if we can break our walls. Having no walls and being an absolutely free person is something that I believe only a few can achieve, maybe being such a person brings a lot of happiness, it gives you a chance to be out of control; do and say whatever you want to. Though I think that being there would be lonely cause even if you are part of the world you are not really connected with it. You are free to do anything and there is nobody to stop you……there is nobody….nobody who wants to.

Then comes the first wall, the one that society brings, these are the restrictions put on you by your religion, by the code of conduct humanity expects you to follow, by the rights and wrongs and blacks and whites created by the world. You can still do a lot of thing you want to as long as you don’t cross that unseen line. If you do cross it you might be looked down upon. Maybe an example will give you an idea of what I am thinking; I want to dance, express my feeling through my moves but my religion says that dancing and performing for the world is wrong and that’s what stops me (at least partly). Another maybe a simpler example would be swearing, some of us might want to do it openly wherever we want but society deems it to be a bad manner, that’s what stops some to do it all the time. These walls might not be so strong; if you don’t want them there, then you break it!! Me personally, even though I find them restraining I want to/ I choose to abide by them.

The wall very closely linked to the one of societies is the one created by our loved ones; parents, friends, family, spouse or maybe even our kids. This is the way these people want us to behave, and the reason we let them build up this wall is that we love them (love has or had a strong meaning {different argument for another time}), we love them enough to let them choose the way we should be. This wall is what our parents expect us to be, this wall is how our spouse or significant other wants us to be. This wall is how our children expect us to behave…..I know I know a lot of expecting instead of accepting….but that’s the thing you see only those people expect things from us who care about us….and it’s for them that we choose to be a certain way.

Another thought that just crossed my mind is that shouldn’t the people that are in our lives just accept us the way we are…..but the way we are is how we grow up to be around these people…so we grow up with these walls that become norms for us…..if this chain of thought continues it will lead to the nature versus nurture debate, which is another discussion for another time from another person.

Anyway, hoping I have clarified the idea of the second wall let’s move forward to what lies within, the inner most wall is the one we create for ourselves….the way in which we look at ourselves. My inner wall was very thick cause I created a set of rules that I would abide by, this wasn’t something that people expected from me….it was just how I thought I wanted to be….far from the world not different from it….just a wall that let me fit in…in my own way. I don’t know if a lot of people have this wall, I assume that they do….cause we all expect things from ourselves even when the world doesn’t.

So basically walls are just level of expectations that we try to live up to.

The one that I lived up to with the most dedication was the one that I created for myself. I closed myself in a little box and thought I’d be the happiest if I just stayed in there. But after school in these past few years I have met people who poked holes in my walls (that sounds wrong) …..gave me the view of what’s outside, and I’m not going to say that I loved all of it….something’s made me want a smaller box for myself but there were others that inspired me to change to grow and to try different things….

I broke down my wall and started creating a new one…giving myself more space to grow more space to find out who I can be and what I can achieve. Today I’m a happier person a very different person…and I enjoy it.

I think what I’m trying to say is, if you have those walls…poke holes in them…let some people in….see if you want to break these walls. I just choose to rebuild the one that I created for myself and I figured I’m okay with the others.

Are you okay (happy) with your walls?

Do you even have walls?